Encouraging Independence and Problem Solving
Recently, we had our first lunchtime learning of the new school year titled, Encouraging Independence and Problem Solving. We had a great turnout on zoom and as always, concluded with an opportunity for participants to ask questions about their own current challenges at home. We all learned from each other!
Slide credit Tom Limbert
We talked about how encouraging independence and problem solving ultimately benefits your child–both at home and at school. When we resist the urge to do and fix everything for our children and instead indeed encourage them to think about solutions and alternative behaviors, we help them form a foundation and inner formula for handling all of life’s bumps and challenges.
As we discussed, the first step of this process is to help our children identify and label the emotion they are feeling. All behavior is preceded by emotions and as we all know, when we are flustered and anxious, it’s harder to think clearly and make good decisions. When we normalize and model emotional intelligence for our children and help them recognize, label and manage their emotions, we are setting them up for success in school and in life!
The next time your child is frustrated or not cooperating, first encourage her to identify and express her emotions. Then listen as attentively as you can (while you are doing a dozen other things), then briefly articulate empathy. If your child has hit the proverbial too upset for discussion wall, then allow him to process his emotions with some gentle reassurance. Once he has calmed down, it’s time to teach again (the truest translation of the word discipline)!
Focus on the emotions and the language that was missing that would have helped the situation and most importantly, what he can do (the inevitable) next time he finds himself in a similar predicament (likely two minutes from now). When we model and encourage independence, emotional intelligence and problem solving in this way, we are building trust and respect into our relationship with our children and giving them the tools they need to flourish and thrive!
Here’s a helpful link to picture books that build emotional intelligence!
